Monday, March 1, 2010

Ann Coulter Must Get Off The Cover of Playboy then DIE!

Imagine my surprise when I climbed the stairs and into the dark, dusty confines of my past posts and found that I had never, not ever written about Ann Coulter.  I mean I've always had a deep seeded passion for her, though, it's the kind of passion that the Jefferey Dahmer had for little boys and frozen dinners, but a real passion none the less.

Who couldn't love this serpent woman?  First off, she's strong smells like Rocky Mountain goat balls and educated trained by Satan himself and if all that isn't enough, she's extremely attractive the way two dogs sniffing each other ass is attractive.

Oh, and by the way, Ann Coulter is the reason that word processor programs include the little 'line through the word' feature.

Hey, before I continue, have you all seen her cover of Playboy?  Whewewyaowza....that woman gets my motor revving!  And classy!  Like all Playboy models reminds me of smart, intelligent, witty, charmingly funny, beautiful...good Lord, is that a tumor?!


And I understand she is indeed a smart woman that, if she can't win an argument, she sure can talk over you until you want to scoop your eyeballs out with a rusty spoon.  So, in that sense, she's just prospering the way the Constitution intended and gave us the right to. Freedom of Speech, baby!  Got to love America!

Although, at the same time, they probably never intended for women to vote, let alone 'express' an opinion, so what did they know?

Then this.

Ann Coulter Email Alerts
Get the latest emails alerts from Ann Coulter. It's Free!

This was an ad that popped up on the side of Facebook.  You know, where the advertise subjects such as Glenn Beck, Mitt Romney, Bill O'Reilly and Extenz penis enlarging pills.

Which leads me to a quiz, kind of like that Sesame Street game, where you have to guess which one doesn't belong.

Trick question people.  They all congregate at the same happy hour if you know what I mean?

*sound of the buzzards zeroing in*

Anyway, back to Ann Coulter, but if I do say so myself, wouldn't surprise me if she shouldn't have been included in my little game above.

So, here she is in an ad, on Facebook.  Ann Coulter is willing to give you her Email alerts, for free.  Yup, that's right, FREE.  Isn't she swell?  Make's me want to click on it and find out what I've been missing all these years, but truth be told, I won't.  I have this sneaking suspicion that if clicked on it, it'll turn out to be a portal straight to the depths of hell and continual, nonstop opinion whore yammerings by Ann. And I'm sure this eternal torture will be handed out FREE with no strings attached.


  1. Ann Coulter makes my teeth hurt. I am pretty sure at the end of the day she strips off her skin and just sits around in her skeleton.

  2. I'm positive that she, after getting comfortable by stripping off her skin, she eats her young.

  3. I would never click on that ad in a million's bad enough seeing that picture, gah!!! ;)