Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Overtly Gay Chris

I'm a little grouchy right now. It's 4:13 AM and I'm wide awake, as is the cat, or what I presume to be a cat, bellowing  in a field across the way.  I presume it's in heat or it's been run down by the asshole in the two ton 4x4 that's been chasing up and down the block, blaring Toby Keith.

But this isn't why I'm wanting to take a three iron to the back window of the Escalade that is life.  Not overtly anyway.  Take a look at my distraction.



open; publicly.


That's my problem, the word overtly.  Just a simple, run of the mill word, that, while common, is also very complex apparently.  I can say that maybe a dozen times or so, in the real world, I've heard it used.  But recently in my life, this three syllable word is ingraining itself so deep into my skull that I apparently am dreaming about it.  Which in and of itself is pissing me off, because the only thing I like to dream of is my Zags winning the national championship one day, the Kool Aid Man crashing through the kitchen wall on a hot day, and Salma Hayek in a black teddy.

The word keeps popping up in unsuspecting fashions at work, by an individual (that I won't name) that has a degree from a respectable college here in Spokane (the college I won't name as well, to protect their reputation) in communications.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love the word too.  What other word has that fantastic sound 'ert' in it?  Well, if you're a fan of medical procedure, as I am, you will know 'ert' is the sound a pig tailed catheter makes when being yanked out.  Cool huh?

Know what else is cool?  Urban Dictionary.  In my opinion, UB will in the near future replace Webster's as the most sought out reference guide when in need of looking up the meaning of a word.  Such words that haven't been used before, but should have a long time ago.  To this, I thank you George W. and whacked out of your mind Palin for bringing Urban Dictionary to the forefront of Englishismistic excellentism.

That being said, I wasn't exactly happy with the results for my Urban Dictionary search of the word 'overtly' but here are my findings anyway.


overtly gay- (nothing for overtly, without gay being attached like two butch dikes at a motorcycle rally)

A person who is homosexual beyond the standards of society.  Such person usually does things gay or"overtly" gay to earn him the title.  Someone who does something stupid earns the nickname too.


*Chris enters the room; everyone is whispering*

Overtly Gay Chris - Hey are you guys telling secrets? Oooh ooooh, my turn. okay, so when I was attending Whitworth College, during my freshman year, I ate a Saltine cracker out of the butt cheeks of my roomie.

The others who are telling secrets about Overtly Gay Chris - Eeeewwwwhhhhhh!  You're overtly gay.  Now run along and play elsewhere or were going to stuff you deep inside that cavernous porta-potty over there at that construction site.

Anyway, I understand that this is my problem.  The fact that my co-worker Chris over uses and, more times than not, uses this word incorrectly and out of context isn't my problem.  I don't feel it's my place to point it out to him, and I really shouldn't be losing sleep over this.

The expressions on the faces of his customers that he helps is good enough for me.  Kind of priceless, really, because there's nothing like seeing the look in these people eyes, knowing that they're thinking what I already know about him.

Which is this guy is overtly gay and if he keeps it up, someone's going to end up giving  him a porta-potty swirly.


  1. The DH thinks Im the shiznits because I know the meaning to all the current lingo... he doesn't know about the power of Urban Dictionary. He just thinks I'm that good!