Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Que the banjo and pass the grits because I gots me a hankering for some noodling.  Whoooooeeeee!

You're asking, "Hey Ron, what ya doing noodling while you could be doing something a whole lot more productive and a lot less red-necky?  Well, since you've asked with an heir of southern hospitality and a hint of indifference I'll let you know.

Truth is, before the last nights news broadcast, national that is, I had never heard of noodling.  And if someone would have asked me if I'd ever done some noodling before seeing this report then I would have responded "Dern ya, I have.  Once noodled this red headed cherry bomb in the back of my '76 Chevy Vega."

Back to noodling.  While watching this fluff story I found out what noodling was, and more than that I found out if I'm ever caught noodling, make sure I go directly to the vet to pick up my worm medication.  Anyway, noodling is a very calculated form of fishing, for flathead catfish, most cases the size of the Lock Ness Monster.  Now the way to go about noodling is find a real muddy watering hole, where you know these monsters hang, most times in the southern United States, but often times in the New York sewer system.  When a good hole is found, the noodler submerges down, and sticks his hand (yes, I said hand) into the hole and hopes (yes, I said hopes?!) the flathead catfish grabs ahold.  Once the scaly beast has latched on, usually, the noodler screams hysterically, thus drowning from taking too much swamp water into his lungs.

If, the noodler survives, reaching the surface of the water, he has his prize, which can weigh as much as 50 or 60 pounds.  If you're having a hard time understanding how big a catfish of this size is, think of that scene in Jersey Shore: Season One where Snooky and the Situation are flopping around in the hot tub.  Okay?  Now get rid of the Situation, leaving a wet, horny and always inebrebiated Snooky alone in the tub.  With me still?  Now take her weight, subtract half and divide by three and *presto chango*....that's what you're dealing with when you snag yourself a nasty swamp monster


Noodling, a sport  in it's own right, and may I say fun for some but not my thing.  Too much muck, grime and slimy Snookie's creatures for my taste. 


  1. Holy cow, that is absolutely hilarious!!!!!

  2. This makes me miss home more than you know.

  3. Why does that catfish on the black couch have a pickle in it's mouth? Waaiittt a cotton pickin' minute, who would have a catfish sitting on their couch? Oh those silly southerners! yee-haw!