The State of the Union

This is my first of many spewings and you may or may not like it but here I am, so lets get on with it already.
We have a new president! We could talk about that, and on Nov. 5th that is what is expected, isn't it? The economy, the wars, global warming, healthcare, education and same sex marriage. All that is on the minds of Americans. Hell...Fox, MSNBC, John Stewart, Yahoo and every other outlet is talking about us making history, USA first black president, so why shouldn't I?
'Cause I don't wanna! That's why.
Not that it isn't important, because it is and I know there are many that might stone me for expressing this out loud, but I think there are others that are sick and dang'd tired of it. Besides, ain't there other issues that are just as important?
Take for instance, Coors Light new 'vent' can. Brilliant!?
Or the word spatula. Now I know what it does and the reason for it and why it is important. I do, really. How are we flippin' our flapjacks on Sunday mornings without one, but instead of thinking of the purpose, let's just think of the name itself. Where the hell did that come from? I have to think it was a dying mans last words, but I don't know.
Why does Nomar Garciaparra do that weird adjusting thing with his batting glove before he steps up to the plate, before each and every pitch? Annoying!
That little scruffy dog in the backyard. Why does she eat everything (and I do mean everything) that moves, crawls or just looks edible?
Why is a cigarette great after sex?
Is a motorcycle just not large enough to activate the green light at one in the morning?
Or, does the toilet bowl water really flow the opposite direction in the other hemisphere?
So, are you starting to see what I mean? There are just as many important things to think about in these harsh times, when people are losing there 401k's, our sick are paying way too much for good healthcare, the earth is warming up (or isn't), our kids aren't getting the education they deserve and we're losing soldiers lives on a daily basis.
Ya...maybe not.