Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Going on a beer run with Todd. Can I get you anything?

Have you all noticed that I'm wordy?  I've been known to go on and on and on, and then no one tells me to shut the hell up!  I count on you people to let me know these things because fact is, I can go on and on, and I don't have the time to be so wordy.

I work and that take away from my blog time, my Facebook, doodling, a political humor novel I'm working on and my t.v. watching time.  Oh, it impedes my ability to sit at the bar and waste time while getting hammered.  Of course, I'm getting older (already in my late twenties) and getting drunk isn't on top of my list of things of things that are going to create a successful professional that might prove to Oprah I'd be a great candidate to replace Gayle.  (that slutmonkey has it made!)

Not only am I wordy, but in the words of the great Todd Snider, "I can go into a bar, tell one story, and the next time I go back, I'll tell a completely different story."  Now I'm not saying that I lie, but truthfully, I like to push the envelope on the whole truth thing.  Seems silly, all this honesty shit.  Besides it's all for the sake of entertainment and doesn't hurt anyone.  No one gets pushed in front of an oncoming Waste Management truck.  (Well, one time, but because of being placed in Witness Protection, I don't speak of it.)

So, from now on, I'm going to only tell little, short white lies.  Unless of course I get wasted while bellied up to the bar where the creative juices are flowing, then I might go on and on, telling lies and exaggerating the truth, until one one of you push me under the axle of a great big green truck that smells like it hasn't had a deep cleaning in several months, and may or may not have the rotting corpse of a seventeen pound marmot juice, the same marmot juice I was discussing on Facebook with...good lord, who was it, anyway, doesn't matter, point is the truck didn't smell all that great, and then there was this one time at band camp and... 

Alright, enough!  What I want to say is that I'm going to try and show up here as often as possible.

You've been warned! 

That being said, hey Todd, time for a B double E double R U N, beer run?


  1. Look, it isn't even mornin yet and im already here. My damn clock stopped and I thought it was only 8:22 when its actually 10:15pm CST. Love the video, I'll have to come back just to play it again. Grab a cold one for me!!