Google Earth is Watching

Google Earth is at it again.  Doesn't matter where you are, they're watching and in the know about what you and you're loved ones and even what my racist dog Dum Dum is up to.  They can see you.  What you're wearing, what you're not wearing and even the if you washed the blood off the back patio.

Okay, so these pictures or what I consider them to be, intrusions, are taken maybe a year ago, or just six months ago, but they were taken, without your knowledge.  But they were!

It's a tracking tool to assist you in finding your way to a doctors appointment or directions to the local Cinemaplex or help you find your way  back from a really long night on the town in which you find yourself coming out of a blackout and you feel all icky and are now in Wichita home.

But...now the authorities are using Google Earth to watch you!

Case #1 - In New York, on Long Island, the city has used Google Earth satellite imagery to track swimming pools that have been dug, filled with chlorinated water, and have been used for wild orgies, with obnoxious big hair bands from the 80's blaring from large woofers.  Okay, I made up the orgy part but I have to bet 'Wanted Dead or Alive' was kickin' it old school.  Point is, the authorities nabbed over 250 home owners that were in violation of building swimming pools, without proper permits, all by using Google Earth.

Case #2 - In 2006, in Racine, Wisconsin, coppers busted a marijuana operation by using the eye in the sky.  Turns out, hidden within a field of corn or hemp or something that farmers farm, cops discovered hippies growing the whacky weed using Google Earth.  When the bust went down, one of the growers was wearing a GPS devise around his neck, which lead them to not only another pot field, but also the nearest White Castle.

So, in this day and age, when there is a camera on every street corner, ATM machine, Circle K and inside and outside of
Deja Vu strip club, do we really have any privacy to speak of?  Are our rights being slowly taken away or are we being forced into a secure mentality where we know that, if we are held up by a one armed man wielding a long knife, we'll be protected because there is certain to be a grainy photo of an indistinguishable, hoody wearing punk/grandma/iguana?

I'm not sure but I think this debate is just beginning.  I think it'll get much worse before this question of our privacy is answered.

Google Earth is not going anywhere so what I suggest is that we all keep our shirts on, covering our pasty white skin that should only be on display when in the privacy of your own home.  Nanny cams can't be blamed on Google though, so if there happens to be a teddy bear leering at you while your humping on your sixteen year old babysitter, that's your cross to bear.

GOOGLE MASTURBATION BLOCK WATCH

Finally this.  Google Earth, rumors abound, are working in conjunction with the Catholic church, and have developed new software to keep an eye on sinners the world over.

So watch your step, you sleazy perverts!

Racist biaaatch!

So you've all heard Dr. Laura went off on her radio show, ranting and raving, flapping her hairy, demon like wings, saying the unmentionable N word.  Due to the nature of the word, N, I won't repeat it, because I don't want my sponsors going nuts and the press crucifying me to the point where I have to step down from my position as the Man Who Is The Guy in All the Penthouse Forum Stories Especially The Ones About The Hot Lonely Mom Who Isn't Getting Enough Attention and Has Never Taken Her Brand New Maytag For A Proper Spin Cycle Until She Met Me.
 
Ya...I'm that guy.

Anyway, back to my story (and reality).

Seems Dr. Laura went on and on, telling a caller that she was hyper-sensitive and demonstrating the proper use of the offensive word in question.  This I don't give a rats ass about.  As long as Dr. Laura is eaten slowly and painfully to death by a mound of fist size fire ants, it's none of my concern.

What truly bothers me is that the family dog and a replication of a mangy hemorrhoid on four paws is racist. My girlfriend calls her Saige, I call her a pain in my lily white ass, or Dum Dum, for short.  Anyway, Dum Dum is basically and fundamentally the nastiest kind of racist.  Not this Dr. Laura fluff story that's all over the YouTubes and the counter talk at the local Fu Wongs Nail and Bunion Service Center are discussing.

No, our dog is racist and has no qualms about expressing her opinion anytime a person of color walks past the apartments we live in.  Nor does she feel bad, in the least, as she goes all nuclear shih tzu, barking and doing crazy, out of control flips when the young Chinese man, working his way through college, delivers our Egg Foo Young, Chicken Subgum Chow Mein and fortune cookies.

*Side note - my last fortune read - "Me love you long  time...in bed."  Didn't even have to play the 'in bed' game.*

Racist Saige

Dum Dum Saige

When I questioned the furry Ku Klux Klan member, she claims she's just protecting her domain. Classic denial by a bigoted racist scum.

Then while watching the Masters this year, any time Tiger Woods would pull out his seven iron, she'd circle in front of the television, squat and take a long steamy poo on the carpet.  After a good nose rub, I'd get a misguided and completely lame exclamation that she had IBS and couldn't help it.  First off, that's crap and secondly, can dogs have IBS?

I don't know what to do about it.  It's beginning to get out of control.  I've never had animals before, and quite frankly, I've always thought that they have a demented and long seeded desire to make us humans seems like demeaning and full of hatred.  And while there may be some truth to this, I personally try to turn the other cheek whenever possible and think on the whole, most people are good.

Dum Dum, on the other hand, proves that, while we humans are less than perfect creatures, turning to war and persecutions of things we do not fully understand, animals are no better than we primitive, hatred filled, oil spilling, upright standing, animals on two feet.

Regardless, I do walk upright.  I'm bigger. faster and stronger and I have apposing thumbs.  So, if she keeps up the shit, I'm going to pick up the phone, give the young Chinese student a call and see if he wants to come over and watch the next major golf tournament.  I'll even serve up a delectable stir fry platter I've been conjuring up for some time now.

Oh, and kind of on the subject, but not really, Jennifer Aniston was slammed by the Special Olympics for her use of the word 'retard' while discussing her new movie with Regis Philbin.  I don't know the context in which she used it,  because I didn't actually watch the show, but I have my suspicions.