Richard Heene Must Die!!!

DISCLAIMER - IF YOU OPT TO KILL THESE PEOPLE, IT LIES IN YOUR LAP SOLELY!

I have a growing list of 'people who must die!'

Not in a literal sense and not at my hands. I have a rough enough time staying out of trouble without killing idiots. But where I'm going with this is that there are just some people out there, walking free, taking up precious space that I don't believe truly are deserving.

Now I understand that we all have rights. The Constitution makes sure of that. I get it. I do. The right to bear arms, the freedom of speech and religion, the right to due process, a speedy trial. It was once amended that we had the right to not drink liquor, before we again had the right to drink liquor. We have many rights that are protected by the Constitution but let me make it real clear. No where in the Constitution, not since our Founding Father or any time since, has an amendment being written making it a right to be a complete and utter idiot if wanted.

People push the envelope and must DIE!

There has to be a limit to the level of dumbdom that one man can, shall I say, achieve!

But, the fact is, I appreciate these people. They make me feel good about myself, that the little things that I get down on myself about aren't that bad after all. Life could be worse.

And they give me reason to spew obscenities at the t.v., making my girlfriend wonder if I need medication. This humors me a great deal.

And most importantly, they give me much material to write about.

For example, Richard Heene.

It's fresh in our minds, and appears won't go away anytime soon.

This guy must die!

Top of the list, at least at this time. Sure, he has a family...a wife, kids, maybe a dog, but this guy doesn't deserve to keep on sucking up refreshing, high altitude, Colorado oxygen any more than Lindsey Lohan is deserving of a drivers license.

All the guy wants is publicity, a reality show and cash to go with it. Well guess what doughhead?! You got the publicity, you 'created' your own show, and there will be plenty o' cash flow, but in the wrong direction. Two out of three ain't bad, bitch!

There are lots of examples though, mostly criminal.

Take for instance the two burglars in North Carolina who broke into a school, found a camera and began taking pics of their crimes. All is good so far, right? But, not being able to get the 'film' out of the camera, they figured that it was empty of film and decided to leave the camera behind.

What? They've never heard of digital?

When they were arrested they told the police officer that "we thought it was one of them new fandangled Polarwhatchacallits. Didn't know why the dern'd picture didn't print out the front of the camera".

Okay, so I made up that last part, but I have to believe that's what the three shared brain cells between the two men were thinking at the time.

DIE!!!

Nother one. Man in Daytona Beach, Florida, walked into a shop, pointed his index finger, cocked his thumb (yes, cocked it) and proceeded to 'rob' the store. When the clerk realized he wasn't going to be seriously harmed if shot, he proceeded to chase him off. The suspect was later arrested and charged with 'armed' robbery!

Fingerprinting proved that it was indeed the weapon. HA!!!

DIE, you goofy bastard!

Then, in Hawaii, a man was questioned, suspected of robbing four banks. He proudly and arrogantly said, "I didn't rob no four banks, copper! Only three!"

DIE, gravy sucking pig!

This example of brilliant stupidity hits close to home.

I had a nearly-ex-but-never-happened-thank-GOD-brother-in-law. We'll call him Tony. He was once pulled over...for what...well, not sure, don't care, won't move the story along any quicker. What matters is that Tony knew he had a warrant out for his arrest, and really didn't want to spend the night in county lock-up. So in his quick thinking way that Tony is known for, he exquisitely said he didn't have his ID, and instead of fessing up his true identity, he gave the officer the name of his brother, my other nearly-ex-never-happened-thank-GOD-brother-in-law. We'll call him Nick. Turns out that not only did Tony have a warrant out for his arrest, but so did Nick.

Tony ended up getting a three consecutive sentences...serving his, Nicks and the court decided to throw in an extra one, just because...well, just because of dumbdom, I'm guessing.

DIE!!!!

So you see, there a lot of extremely dim witted and shall we say, idiotic people in this world that need to be taken off the streets before more innocent people are harmed! Be on my side, help me out, and let me know of any of these morons so I can add them to my growing list.

Speaking of dumb, I gotta run, people. Been thinking of a $5 Starbucks!

DIE, DIE, DIE!!!