Watching the Tiger Woods apology, plans for the future and the death threats he put on the table if anyone got up in his families grill ever again got me to thinking about something much more important.
(Disclaimer : It wasn't a press conference, because the golfer didn't take questions, and therefore didn't give us the answer to the question we all want to know, that being, "Mr. Woods, is is true that you did indeed bump fuglys with all of Ray J's leftover sloppy seconds?")
My thoughts turned to relationships. When trying to make a relationship work, striving to achieve that perfect state of understanding and bliss, where a couple would compromise and sacrifice anything in order to make their lives everlasting together.
And more specifically, can a man and woman live in harmony if they don't agree that Gene Shalit's mustache isn't the coolest friggin' entity ever.
Really, take a look at that thing. Sure, it doesn't appear to be all that subtle, and isn't, but the way in which it swoops down, reaching from ear to ear, almost as thick as an Amazonian rainforest. That is AWESOME! Then, as if that isn't enough, it receives high regards and critical acclaim from his hair, all gnarly and bush like, which is in a league all it's own, and maybe the makings of another story someday.
Don't stop looking now, because just when you think the heightened ecstasy of admiring the mans mustache is more than enough, here comes his tie, skidding into the picture like an out of control Lamborghini Gallardo, here to pick up the mustache for a crazy night out on the town, club hoppin', snortin' blow and watching over things like the uptight producer of a Neil Young documentary.
What the fuc...?
Anyway, that mustache is true. It's alive and I just bet Gene Shalit, because of his integrity and stick-to-it-dedication to that bad boy, he's probably carried on a long lasting, happy and extremely fulfilling relationship with a devoted and beautiful woman. (This isn't something I know for sure though, because I didn't really want to do the research, because of what I thought might in truth find, and not for one moment do I believe that anything I'm saying carries any weight.)
But, what I do know is that guys like a certain amount of facial hair that says somethin-somethin about us, and that the girls, do in fact admire that about us.
They dig it.
Well, okay, maybe not, but I swore to my nearly hairless girl that someday, some way, I was going to find a way to get this picture posted on the world wide internets.
So, Gene Shalit, and your mustache, I thank you!